Finding someone who’s willing to date you when you’re pulling 12 hour days at the office is hard enough. But when you’re happily coupled up, that doesn’t mean you’re going to run off into the sunset, assured of a future filled with romance, fun and financial stability.
Because sometimes you discover that your partner, who is no doubt lovely in every other way, is actually having a negative effect on your career.
Here are five ways that could be happening.
Your partner is not supportive of your career
No matter how much you think you can go it alone, you strong, independent warrior you, the support (or lack of) from the people closest to you can have a huge impact on your levels of motivation and self confidence.
A partner who isn’t supportive of your career can be a huge psychological stumbling block.
Perhaps your partner feels that he/she is earning enough to be the real breadwinner and thinks you should not bother with your career, which he/she sees as inferior.
Or maybe our partner disapproves deep down of your chosen vocation, thinking that only despicable mercenaries would do the job you do.
Whatever it is, if you feel you are being held back even in subtle ways by your partner’s comments or behaviour, it’s time to have a serious talk.
Your relationship demands that you spend less time at work
When you were single, you had all the time in the world to spend on work. You could pull all nighters at the office, check your emails while lying in bed and bring home work to do on the weekends and nobody cared.
But now that you have a significant other, you’re feeling the pressure to spend less time at work. Whether your partner demands outright that you spend more time with him/her or you just feel the guilt gnawing silently away at you, this is a very uncomfortable situation if your job requires long hours and you are only too happy to spend more time at work.
You have different long-term goals
Even if you are not married or don’t intend to ever tie the knot, if both of you have long-term goals that diverge too greatly, this can have a detrimental effect on your career.
For instance, if your goal is to work like crazy for a few years and then retire early, you’ll find it hard to make things work with a partner who’s concerned about keeping up appearances and doesn’t mind spending all his/her money to live the good life right here, right now.
If your goal is to become the best you can be in your profession, while your partner sees work as an 8-hour daily annoyance and wants to get away with doing the bare minimum, clashes are inevitable as you will be willing to sacrifice a lot more for work than him/her.
Your partner is troubled or terribly unconscientious
Now, we all have our issues, and nobody is all happy, shiny and motivational speaker-like all the time.
But a partner who is extremely troubled, has mental health issues or is just terribly unreliable and unconscientious can be a huge distraction from work. Being with someone who’s very dysfunctional is stressful and draining, and that will undoubtedly have an impact on your morale and motivation at work.
Your partner’s own income/wealth is making you complacent
Whether you’re a man or woman, being with someone who’s got tons of cash can leave you feeling complacent.
Singaporeans especially tend to be very motivated by a sense of lack and fear of being left behind. So it’s easy to see how a loaded partner who pays for everything can make you less inclined to put effort into your own career.
What kind of impact do you think your current/last relationship has had on your career? Tell us in the comments!