I remember when COVID hit in 2019. I was in San Francisco, barely a year into my Master’s programme. The world was in panic mode. International students like me were being urged to head home. Looking back, I realise how fortunate I was to have a home to return to—my parents’ place in Singapore. That kind of safety net? It’s easy to overlook when you’ve never had to question it.
But I also know that’s not the case for everyone—especially not for many in the LGBTQ+ community. As a cisgender, straight man, I’ve never had to wonder if my identity alone might make me unsafe at home, or at work, or with my bank. That’s a form of privilege I try not to take lightly.
Writing for a personal finance blog like this one often means giving advice on things we haven’t all personally lived through—whether it’s filing for bankruptcy, or getting a car loan (one I hope to experience one day, the other… not so much). It’s always a balancing act: how do we provide useful, respectful information on situations we haven’t faced ourselves?
This piece is an attempt at that. The “F-off fund” might sound cheeky, but for many queer folks, it’s not just smart planning. It’s a lifeline. So, what exactly is it? And why might it matter even more to someone in the LGBTQ+ community? Let’s explore how building that stash of cash can mean more than just financial freedom. It can mean safety, self-determination, and peace of mind.
“F‑Off Fund”? Isn’t that just a more edgy way to say emergency fund?
Yes and no. A regular emergency fund is your generic safety net. Its purpose is to help you during times of crisis like sudden medical bills, urgent home repairs, or losing your job. Basically, your “rainy day” reserve to keep you afloat during tough times. Financial experts often suggest building 3-6 months’ worth of living expenses in such a fund, because unexpected crises can happen to anyone. So, how is a “F-off fund” any different?
In essence, it’s like an emergency fund, but with an extra sprinkle of attitude and purpose. The term was popularised by writer Paulette Perhach in a viral essay about how having savings allowed her to walk away from “slimy bosses and bad relationships” instead of being stuck. In other words, a F-off fund is money saved up specifically to give you the freedom to say “F* off” to any situation that is harmful, toxic, or just isn’t working out without ruining yourself financially. It’s the stash that lets you quit a job where you’re facing harassment, leave a home situation that’s become unbearable, or otherwise escape a bad scenario on your own terms.
I asked our newsletter subscribers if they had enough funds to leave in a lurch, and honestly, the statistics were pretty disheartening.
Almost half of our respondents said that they don’t have the funds available to leave in any kind of toxic or emergency situation. It’s a sobering reminder that while most financial advice talks about emergency funds for car breakdowns or hospital bills, sometimes the real emergency is your environment, or the people in it. And that’s where the idea of a “F-off fund” comes in.
While everyone can benefit from that kind of empowerment, the “F-off fund” is extra vital for those who might encounter more “toxic” surprises in life, which brings us to the LGBTQ+ community’s reality.
Why LGBTQ+ folks face more sudden disruptions
Life in Singapore as an LGBTQ+ person can be rewarding and vibrant. Just look at events like Pink Dot where thousands come together in support. But let’s be real: society isn’t 100% equal or accepting yet, and that means LGBTQ+ individuals as a whole are statistically more likely to encounter certain extra crises or disruptions in life.
Here are some common areas where things can go south unexpectedly, making a robust F-off fund a smart armour to wear.
Reason #1: Family Support & Housing
For many Singaporeans, family is the first safety net—the place you can crash if you lose your job or need support. But what if your family isn’t supportive? Unfortunately, that’s a reality for quite a few LGBTQ+ people. In a community survey during COVID-19, 20% of LGBTQ+ respondents said they were living with family members hostile toward their identity. And a 2024 study found that 1 in 3 LGBTQ+ individuals stay closeted to family out of fear of rejection or even losing their home. In other words, coming out to parents or relatives can, in the worst cases, lead to “Pack your bags right now”.
Imagine coming out and being told to leave home that same day. It’s heartbreaking. For some LGBTQ+ youth, it’s reality. Amid the emotional fallout, you might suddenly need money for rent, a deposit, or even just food. That’s where a F-off fund steps in—it buys you time, shelter, and breathing space.
And it’s not just young people. Even as adults, many queer folks can’t fall back on family during tough times. While others might move home to ride things out, if your relationship with family is strained, that safety net may not exist. Which means you’ll need to build your own.
Speaking of housing, Singapore’s public housing rules add another wrinkle for LGBTQ+ folks. About 80% of Singaporeans live in subsidised Housing Board (HDB) flats, which are mostly accessible to married heterosexual couples early in adulthood.
But LGBTQ+ citizens are only eligible as single individuals at age 35, and even then, can only buy smaller units with fewer subsidies. Until then, if you want to move out of your family home or live with a partner, you’re likely looking at renting or buying private property, which is significantly more expensive. Private rents and home prices in Singapore are sky-high, so not being able to share the cost or apply for BTO flats in your 20s means you need a stronger financial cushion on your own.
Many LGBTQ+ folks end up renting longer, which can be a precarious situation. Landlords might not always be understanding, and co-renting with strangers or even friends can turn sour. If a landlord decides they’re uncomfortable renting to a same-sex couple or an unsupportive family member forces a property sale, you might find yourself scrambling for a new home. Having an emergency fund ensures that if you suddenly need new housing—whether due to family conflict or rental issues—you have the money to act quickly (instead of, say, staying in an unsafe environment or ending up effectively homeless).
In fact, Singapore’s only LGBTQ+ shelter, The T Project, exists precisely because transgender and queer individuals sometimes end up with nowhere to go.
To sum up, most people hope home is a safe place—but if you’re LGBTQ+ and it isn’t, you must be your own safety net. A solid stash of savings can help you get out fast and land on your feet if family or housing falls through.
Reason #2: Workplace Challenges
We spend a huge chunk of our lives at work, and ideally, a job should be based on your skills and work ethic, not who you love or how you identify.
Sadly, many LGBTQ+ people still face bias in their careers. Workplace discrimination or harassment is a reality for a lot of LGBTQ+ employees in Singapore, whether it’s snide comments, fewer promotions, or even being edged out of a job.
A survey in 2023 found that over half (50.9%) of LGBTQ+ respondents had experienced some form of workplace discrimination or harassment due to their sexual orientation or gender identity. And a 2024 study by Pink Dot found the number could be as high as 69% when including bias in hiring. That’s an alarmingly high chance that, at some point, you might run into a work situation that’s deeply unfair or hostile. And with the recent global rollback on diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) initiatives, especially in the wake of Trump-era politics in the U.S., that sentiment has started to trickle into corporate culture elsewhere too—even in Singapore. Queer employees may find themselves more vulnerable in workplaces that quietly deprioritise inclusion the moment it stops being trendy or convenient.
Now, Singapore does not yet explicitly protect LGBTQ+ individuals under its anti-discrimination laws. In fact, the new Workplace Fairness Act pointedly left out sexual orientation and gender identity as protected categories. This means if you’re mistreated or fired for a LGBTQ-related reason, you don’t have much legal recourse at the moment. It’s not exactly comforting, but it’s the sad reality right now. The onus then falls on you to protect yourself, since the system might not.
How does a F-off fund help here?
If you’re stuck with a boss who bullies you with homophobic remarks, or a company culture where you don’t feel safe being yourself, having enough savings gives you the power to say “I quit” without plunging into a financial crisis. Quitting on principle is a lot easier when rent and groceries for the next few months are covered from your savings. Knowing you can walk away from a toxic workplace is huge for your mental health and dignity. You should never have to stay in a job where you’re treated badly just because you need the paycheck to survive—and your F-off fund makes sure you won’t have to.
Plus, being financially prepared means you can afford to pursue action or speak up if you choose. This could mean filing a complaint or seeking legal advice without worrying that it’ll leave you jobless with no money. Essentially, financial security = the confidence to stand up for yourself.
Reason #3: Health & Personal Safety
Health emergencies and personal safety threats can hit anyone, but again, there are some unique issues to consider if you’re LGBTQ+.
One aspect is mental health. Living with discrimination, hiding your true self, or coping with family rejection can take a serious toll on mental well-being. Surveys in Singapore have consistently shown higher rates of anxiety, depression and even suicidal thoughts among LGBTQ+ individuals, especially youth and transgender people. It’s not because being LGBTQ+ is a problem—it’s because of the pressures of stigma and lack of support.
For example, during the pandemic, 60% of LGBTQ+ folks surveyed said they were struggling with mental health issues, and many couldn’t access or afford counselling. Therapy in Singapore can be expensive (think $150 or more per session at private clinics) and often not covered by insurance. If you anticipate needing mental health support, having money set aside for it is important.
Now consider physical health: While Singapore’s healthcare system is high-quality, there are gaps that might affect LGBTQ+ people more. For instance, certain treatments or medications might not be fully subsidised or insured. If you’re a transgender person undergoing hormone therapy or planning gender-affirming procedures, you probably already know you’ll need significant savings because coverage is limited. Having an emergency fund ensures you can pay for urgent medical needs or ongoing treatment even if your insurance or family won’t help. And if you fall seriously ill, you might also need to take unpaid leave—again, savings will replace that lost income.
While Singapore is generally safe, being LGBTQ+ can sometimes put one at risk of harassment or even violence. There have been cases of hate crimes, and more commonly, abuse within the family or from partners. Unfortunately, domestic violence or abuse can happen in LGBTQ+ relationships and households too, and it can be harder to get help if authorities or shelters are not as accustomed to your situation.
If you ever find yourself in an unsafe environment—say, a violent family member or partner—you may need to escape quickly, which could mean paying for temporary housing (like a hotel or short-term rental), travel, or legal protection. Those things aren’t cheap. A survivor leaving an abusive situation might need to hire movers on short notice, put down a deposit on a new flat, or pay for a lawyer. In essence, your F-off fund doubles as a “safety fund”—enabling you to prioritise your physical safety without financial hesitation.
Now that you know it’s important, how do you start building your F-Off fund
By now, we’ve established that an F-off fund is extra-important for LGBTQ+ individuals in Singapore due to a host of “just in case” scenarios. It’s empowering to know you could leave any toxic situation tomorrow. But that empowerment only comes if you’ve built up the fund, which can sound daunting. Don’t worry—you can start small and steady.
The key is to treat your emergency/F-off fund as a top priority in your finances (even above splurges or investing for now). Pay yourself first: set aside a bit each month into a separate savings account, one that you mentally label as your Freedom Fund. Automate it if possible—for example, arrange an automatic transfer the day your salary comes in. This way, saving becomes routine.
How much to aim for? Ultimately, 3 to 6 months of living expenses is the classic goal for an emergency fund. If that sounds huge, aim for at least $1,000 as a starter milestone, then one month’s expenses, then two, and so on. Every dollar you save is a dollar that buys you freedom and peace of mind. You could cut back on some non-essentials to speed it up—perhaps fewer delivery dinners or holding off on upgrading to the newest iPhone. And if you get a work bonus or Ang Bao money, consider tossing a chunk into this fund immediately, boosting it further.
Also, keep your F-off fund accessible but discreet. It should be liquid (e.g. in a savings account or low-risk deposit, not tied up in stocks or property) so you can withdraw on short notice. But you might not want it too visible if, say, you share finances with family or a partner whom you don’t want knowing about it. It’s perfectly fine to have a private account that only you control—in fact, it’s recommended. This fund is for you and under your sole control.
One more thing: Using your F-off fund when needed is not failure because hello, that’s what it’s there for. It’s easy to feel scared watching your hard-earned savings drop when an emergency strikes. But remind yourself: you saved this money to protect yourself. Whether it’s paying for an unplanned surgery, a sudden relocation, or a period of joblessness, you deserve to use your safety net.
Afterward, when things stabilise, you can start building it up again bit by bit. The goal is to never have to say “I have no choice but to stay put in this bad situation because I can’t afford to leave.” With some financial prep, hopefully you always have a choice.
Last of all, know that you’re not alone: Resources for support and guidance
Talking about worst-case scenarios can feel heavy. You have to understand that it isn’t to scare you. It serves to empower you with foresight. By planning ahead financially, you’re taking control of your narrative. Nothing is more powerful than having the ability to carve your own path through life. And remember, even if family or society might let you down at times, there is a community out here that cares and resources you can turn to for help.
If you’re building your F-off fund or facing a crisis, keep these resources in mind:
- Oogachaga – A longstanding non-profit organisation offering counselling and support for LGBTQ+ individuals, couples and families. If you need someone to talk to about family issues, coming out, or mental health, Oogachaga’s hotline and counselling services can be a lifesaver. Emotional support goes hand-in-hand with financial planning in tough times.
- The T Project – Singapore’s first and only social service for the transgender community, including running a shelter for transgender individuals who need housing. If you or a friend are trans and suddenly find yourself without a home or in crisis, The T Project can provide temporary shelter and guidance. They also have resources for LGBTQ+ youth.
- Sayoni / Brave Spaces – Community groups like Sayoni (for queer women) and Brave Spaces (for LGBTQ+ women and non-binary folks) advocate for well-being and provide support services. Sayoni, for instance, has run relief fund programs during COVID-19 to help those financially affected. These groups might have emergency assistance or know where to direct you for help (like short-term financial aid or safe lodging).
- Prident – A collective of LGBTQ+-friendly professionals focusing on financial and estate planning, property ownership and more. Money matters can get complex (wills, housing, insurance) when you can’t marry your partner or when you lack family support. Prident’s network can offer advice tailored for the LGBTQ+ community—basically, financial planning without the judgmental vibes. Seeking advice from those who understand your context can be a game-changer for long-term security.
- General Financial Planning Resources – Don’t overlook mainstream resources too. MoneySense (the Singapore government’s financial education portal) and blogs like MoneySmart offer tons of accessible guides on budgeting, saving strategies, and building smart money habits. While they may not be LGBTQ-specific, the core principles, like setting realistic goals, saving consistently, and keeping your fund liquid, apply to everyone. And if you’re not sure where to start, MoneySmart also offers a free consultation with our experienced financial advisors, so you can get personalised guidance without the pressure.
- Community Support Groups – Beyond dollars and cents, having a support network is invaluable. Consider linking up with local community groups or attending events (yes, even virtually or small meet-ups). Groups like Pink Dot, IndigNation, or campus LGBTQ+ networks can connect you with peers and allies. Sometimes, through these networks, you hear about job openings at LGBTQ-friendly companies, or someone might have a spare room to rent to a community member in need. Opportunities often arise from community solidarity.
In the end, I hope you’ll never have to use your F-off fund
Planning for the worst doesn’t mean the worst will happen. In a perfect world, you’ll never need to use your F-off fund for an actual “f*** off” moment. Wouldn’t it be great if all our families accepted us, workplaces treated everyone fairly, and love conquered all? Unfortunately, reality isn’t there yet. Having that financial backup is part of taking care of yourself in the here and now.
Your journey to financial self-sufficiency might even inspire others in the community to do the same, creating a ripple effect of empowerment. So start building that fund, no matter how small—your future self will thank you. Stay proud, stay prepared, and remember that you’re worth every effort when it comes to your security and peace of mind.
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About the author
Having been writing for a little over 10 years, KC has flexed his pen in a variety of industries—think automotive, fitness, entertainment, and finance. He’s ultimately on a mission to prove that any topic, no matter how serious, can be made fun.
Off-duty? It’s all about food, drinks, parties, and gaming marathons.